Pinch me. I made it into, through, and out of Wal-Mart without incident. ! There was no rudeness. In fact, several people smiled at me and I smiled at them, feeling tension ease from my back.
No 30-something mothers who hate their lives so much that they delightedly roll right over you if you don't move quickly enough.
No parades of 5-7 people with one or two baskets taking up residence (and possibly enjoying a family reunion or a 25th wedding anniversary) in the middle of an aisle.
No unruly children running full tilt while a senior citizen has to hit the brakes suddenly and grab their dentures as they fly out.
No screaming or arguing.
No incidents of an unconscious citizen on a cell phone walking in an 8-foot bubble that will cause you to spontaneously combust if you get too close while reaching for tomato soup. (A neighbor of mine went that way, poor bastard.)
The cashier was friendly and efficient. I expected pretty balloons to float down from the ceiling while daffodils sprang up along all the aisles and minstrels played my favorite Brazilian guitar music ... while we all hugged one another in the spirit of goodwill and promised to keep in touch.
When I got out to the parking lot, no one had dented or scraped my car.
A small tear slides down my face. I had to call a friend and ask him to confirm that I'm awake. Perhaps it is all a dream, after all. I don't care, it was a good dream.
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